And they say that fingers in the nose are bad

As you know I'm preparing to leave the great ol' US of A in the near future and because of this I've been doing some medic training. At first it was all fun with learning how to use bandages to patch up wounds, learning how to use needles for chest decompression, and even learning how to put a tourniquet on someone to stop the bleeding, but then things changed. After all of the easy stuff the training decided to take a turn for the worse. They decided to teach us how to use something called a Nasopharangeal Airway. If you've never heard of this I suggest you Google it and take a look. However because this is my blog I feel that I'll just tell you guys and if you want then you can look it up later. Let's start off with you trying an experiment. First what you'll need to do is hold up your pinky and take a look at it. Compare it's size (and I mean the circumfrance of the finger) to the size of your nostril. If you need further help comparing the size go ahead and try jaming the thing in your nose and see how far you can make it. You'll probably find that you didn't make it very far, you might also want to go and wash your hands now. So now that you've experienced that let me just go ahead and tell you about my experience. It was towards the end of a long day of training when we arrived at our class. We took a seat like we had in all the other classes and waited for the block of instruction to begin. The teacher/Doctor walked in and told us that we would be learning about opening airways on patients. He then pulled out a small tube and explained that we would be using it to open air ways. He then proceeded to tell us that we would accomplish this by craming it up the nose of the other person. I then realized that that little tube wasn't so little anymore. We were then told that we would b practicing this on each other, that tube then looked like it was the size of a garden hose. The good part about it was that there was only about 6 tubes for a class of 40 people. So the process was done on a volunteer basis. So what do you think that I did, I volunteered. Why, why, why?? Anyways, as it is I wasn't the first volunteer. There were other retards out there that submitted their nostrils to punishment. Watching the first guy was probably the hardest. He was about 6'4" 230 pounds and had a huge ol' schnoz. I saw the tube go up and then it stoped. Then I saw them twist the tube and try and jam it in there even further. Then I saw this guy actually shed a tear, and then another one, then came the moaning, and finally the STOP, THATS ENOUGH. My Gut fell to the floor, it was my turn. I walked to the front of the class and sat down. I felt like I was sitting in the executioners chair. Why did I do this again? I threw my head back and opened my nose as wide as I could. Then I felt it, my nose stretching to the size of a watermelon. Pushing, pushing, then HOLY MOTHER *&#%$*(&(*%$&@#($*&(*@&#(%*&(*&%$(@*)_!)(*&)_(*!#)($**&&$%(*(*&@#($(& WHAT WAS THAT!!!!!! He's stabing my brain, he has to be in my brain. Then it slid in further. It felt like it was lubed down with Tabasco Sauce. I had Mount St. Helens going off in my head. Is this over yet? NO. Further and further the tube goes. it doesn't stop until my tonsils stop it. then with one quick smooth pull it's all over. It's out and I feel Freedom for the first time in my life. The only good thing that I can say about haveing a tube stuck in my nose and down my airway is that it basically cleaned everything out of there. I was able to breath pretty well after that. So I just want to tell you all now that if you ever need your nose cleaned out, I'dbe more than happy to help you out. Just let me know. All I can say is I don't think that I'll ever do that again. Well I'll try to keep you guys posted on everything else that we do. Hopefully nothing like that happens again. I guess we'll see though.

Oh Say Can You See... That I actually started a BLOG

Good evening all. As you may notice I have recently lost some of my man-hood and actually started a blog. I know, I'm still getting over it myself, but lets look to the future and get pumped up for the many exciting times that we can now share together like when I catch Osama. It'll also be a lot easier than trying to send a mass e-mail to everyone. You guys will be in my thoughts and prayers, especially you Kyle (I think that you need all the help you can get when it comes to girls). Anyways, I really hate to cut this short for it being my first post, but it is my One Year Anniversary and I've gotta GO!! Good night and sweet dreams